Harassment

Complete and utter douche-bag sends inappropriate messages to developer.

That is the headline i might have used, if i had actually wanted to cover a story on the incident in the first place. Which incident? You know the one that Kotaku blew totally out of proportion and turned into a “men hate women in the games industry and all women in the industry suffer harassment” article.

In case you have not actually seen this flood the internet, the short version is this. Some complete and utter douchebag (gender: not important) wanted some inside scoop on a project and used facebook to contact a developer (gender: not important). The 2 had met twice, the developer in question worked at a different studio – the whole thing was a thin lead to begin with. But games journalists often don’t deserve the title “journalists”. A lot of times they are barely more than glorified bloggers. I met a lot of them, and a lot of them will go to great lengths to stick up from the vast sea of people writing about our industry.

This particular one not only was chasing after a thin lead but was also a warped human being. Using comments of a sexual nature towards the developer. Obviously the comments were not appreciated.

I don’t blame the developer on how the conversation was handled. I don’t blame the developer for going public. Quite the contrary – it was a perfectly handled situation. But what followed was typical to the current climate, particularly when it comes to our industry – and that was and is a farce.

Anyone who actually dared to disagree or at the very least want more information, was immediately slammed and branded. David Scott Jaffe (@davidscottjaffe) has been quite vocal from the start and has since faced, for a lack of a better word, harassment himself on twitter.  He never once defended the journalist in question. He just wanted more info before passing judgement. More info came and he quite clearly spoke out against the offender. Again: he never ONCE blamed the developer.

The Kotaku article uses an interview with the harassed developer as a jumping point to shine a light on just how bad women have it in our industry apparently. Rachel Edidin lists numerous (anonymous) sources that claim harassment and state how bad the industry is. Feminist blogs spring up, claiming how widespread harassment is towards women in our industry, seeming to support the Kotaku article.

I don’t doubt that cases exist, in fact i know they do. I have heard, from friends, about some cases. But, and i am saying this at the risk of taking as much flak as Jaffe: unless all the facts are known, unless both sides of the story are heard, all those anonymous sources tell us is their (biased) side of the story.

The original case is a lot more clear cut. It’s obvious the journalist in question was out of line and is a questionable human being to say the least. There is clear evidence in this case and I am sure there are plenty more clear cut cases.

But i would argue 2 things.

Firstly: Why do we only ever hear about women being harassed? Is there no cases of men being on the receiving end of harassment (sexually or otherwise)? Personally i have talked to a lot of games press, and a fair few female games journalists. I recall 2 occasions were comments could have been interpreted a different way. The last was at a major show in Europe were a journalist told me “You should do a show in our region, the girls are stunning!” I shrugged it off, i did not really register it – but now, thinking back on it, what do the stunning girls have to do with the game i was trying to promote? If i was inclined that way, like others clearly are, i could take it the wrong way.

What about men being harassed at the workplace (by both men and women)? That happens. I have witnessed cases, i know men who have experienced it. But it rarely, if ever, is reported. In fact the only thing that does seem to gain traction in the media is when men harass women. And boy does that get media traction – regardless if all facts have been established or not. Women harassing men, women harassing women, men harassing men – none of that is of interest. We certainly seem to live in a “blame men for everything” environment.

The reality is, harassment is gender neutral. Some people are just assholes that feel like they can dominate others, verbally or physically. Sexual harassment can also go both ways. Men seem to either have to deal with it or be quiet about it, while women are actively encouraged to speak out about it. A case of a woman being verbally abused in the games industry is big news, resulting in an international call to arms to end male oppression of female developers.

Secondly: It’s all about attitude and perception. The case of the reporter and the developer is very clear cut. The reporter is an asshole, the developer got harassed. But not every case is as clear cut, and that was really all that Jaffe pointed out (and got slammed for). I can give you an example, a personal experience. I tried to grow a beard during “Movember”. It was hideous. A female member of staff told me “Well you are not gonna get laid much this month.” I thought it was funny, and she most certainly was right. But if i was of a different mindset, if i would see sexism and harassment in every shadow (like some of sources i linked above, or some of the people attacking Jaffe), i could well have taken that comment differently. I could have taken it personally and i could have felt harassed. If i was to use the exact same line on some female members of staff, i would probably be sitting in a meeting room with HR the same day.

Women, in our industry and in general, are fine to talk about cocks, compare men and even go as far as objectifying (there is that word again) them – i have witnessed this. I have experienced this. The difference is, i don’t take it personal, it does not affect me. I might not necessarily like the person, but as long as it’s not a personal attack on me, why should i care? And if someone was to harass me, personally attack me, i would speak up. I would confront the person and at the very least get their side of the story – try to straighten things out. 

Sometimes a comment is just a comment. Sometimes something someone says is not meant personally. Some people can’t take feedback or criticism well, sometimes an innocent comment, meant in jest, goes down the wrong way. Some people feel personal insult everywhere.

The games industry is full of diverse and colorful people. A lot of creative people. A lot of people who speak their mind. A lot of studios have hundred people or more. Not everyone will get on with each other. Many personalities will clash. At times tensions also run high, the industry can be a stressful one. My tip to you, if you happen to hear a comment you don’t like: question where it came from, question what was really meant. And question if it actually was directed at you in the first place. If in doubt, ask the person who seemingly offended you.

Running to HR, going public, crying harassment, and doing so anonymously, without giving the other party even the chance to tell their side of the story, is cowardly and self-serving. It does nothing to create a better, more open and friendly, work environment. All it does, in the long run, is create a poisonous environment and one where the accuser might well face real harassment because attitude towards that person might shift.

If you truly face harassment, regardless if you are a man or a woman, do what the developer in the story did: stand up and name the culprit who harassed you. Naming and shaming those who are assholes is the only way to deal with them. As a lot of the recent articles and blogs point out: being quiet and hoping it goes away does not work. But neither does making anonymous accusations and generalizing an issue and playing the gender card. That just makes you look petty.

And before you go on a crusade against those of us who dare to think different than you, consider if your actions might not actually end up being the same thing you deplore in the first place: harassment. Don’t be an extremist – on either end of the spectrum.